i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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