we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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