I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
