you have to choose: penises or morals?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
The ass gains better be worth it
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