Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
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He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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