First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize