But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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