This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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