Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
