i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
