In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
