She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
