Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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