Ambien. No doubt about it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
