I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
