Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
