did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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