STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
