You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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