Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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