I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize