I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
