I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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