i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
