i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.