if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize