i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I wear drunk well.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize