so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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