dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
