You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
