i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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