Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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