you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize