It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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