she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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