But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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