you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
