are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
