____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize