Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
