my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
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We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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