I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
