just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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