This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
