Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
