Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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