I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
