mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
