Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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