What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
