Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
