I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
