if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
