It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
