Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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